So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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