The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
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Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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