Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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