There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
