Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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