I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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