I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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