Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
