I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
