Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i think my cat just said my name.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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