i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
