god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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