Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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