Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
