when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
