Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
