I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
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Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
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After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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