hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
