shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize