I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't think brook has ever known best
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
