We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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