i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
