Dual....:-)
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
