And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
