She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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