I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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