It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
