How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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