(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
