Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
