How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
