READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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