he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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