come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
