even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
