Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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