6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
