I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
