Can Purell be used as lube?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
