I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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