i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
