I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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