My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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