White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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