Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize