Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
