Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
