The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
