so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
