she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize