does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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