You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize