I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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