OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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