Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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