Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
