I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
