loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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