And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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