True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
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I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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